"Kita harus mengakui, anak selalu
berupaya keras mendorong diri mereka dan bekerja keras untuk mencapai tujuan," kata Paul Donahue,
PhD, penulis buku Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really
Indonesia.com - "Kita harus mengakui, anak selalu berupaya keras mendorong diri
mereka dan bekerja keras untuk mencapai tujuan," kata Paul Donahue, PhD, penulis buku
Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really
Matters. Jadi, "Satu hal yang perlu diingat adalah proses, bukan produk
Anak Anda mungkin bukan pemain basket terbaik di timnya. Namun jika Anda
melihat ia berlatih setiap hari dan berjuang untuk bisa menjadi yang terbaik, Anda harus memuji
usahanya itu, terlepas dari apakah timnya menang atau kalah.
Memuji usaha anak, bukan
hasilnya, juga bisa berarti mengakui anak telah bekerja keras. Misalnya saja saat ia
membersihkan halaman, memasak makan malam, atau menyelesaikan tugas pelajaran sejarahnya. Apa
pun skenarionya, pujian harus diberikan berdasarkan kasus per kasus dan proporsional.
Berikut ini beberapa contoh nyata dari para ahli yang menunjukkan pujian atas prestasi
* Jika anak gagal memukul bola (strike) beberapa kali selama
pertandingan (softball), tapi kemudian ia berhasil menangkap bola saat permainan
berlangsung, ia layak menerima pujian. Anda harus memuji ketahanan dan usahanya mendorong diri
untuk mampu melalui keadaan sulit.
* Jika anak tidak begitu baik dalam pelajaran
matematika, Anda bisa menyarankannya untuk terus berlatih, bukan malah memaksanya belajar
matematika sambil memarahinya setiap malam. Berikan pujian pada anak ketika ia melakukan hal
lain yang luar biasa.
* Putri Anda berhasil menaiki sepeda roda dua setelah ia
berlatih berminggu-minggu. Berikan pujian karena ia mampu bertahan dalam latihan.
Ketika anak berhasil melompat jauh saat sedang bermain, puji dia. Tapi jangan berlebihan karena
usahanya itu hanyalah sebatas untuk bersenang-senang.
Jika anak tidak melakukan upaya
khusus, jangan memujinya berlebihan atau Anda bisa tidak memujinya sama sekali. Para ahli juga
menyarankan agar para orangtua tidak memuji anak dengan memberikan uang tunai.
"Saya percaya setiap orangtua memuji adalah untuk memotivasi anaknya," kata
Donahue. "Jika Anda mengatakan kepada anak akan memberikannya uang jika ia mendapatkan
nilai A di pelajaran matematika, anak akan melakukannya atas dasar motivasi uang, bukan karena
positif ingin berhasil."
Berbeda dengan uang, Anda bisa merayakan kerja keras dan
prestasi anak dengan melakukan kegiatan yang mereka sukai. Misalnya, “Pergi makan es krim
atau atau menonton pertunjukan musik," kata Donahue.
Editor :Liwon Maulana
Pemberian Uang ke Pegawai Pajak Bukan Hanya Sekali
PT The Master
Steel diduga memberikan uang kepada dua pegawai Direktorat Jenderal Pajak Mohamad Dian Irwan
Nuqishira dengan dan Eko Darmayanto secara bertahap.
JAKARTA, Saco- Indonesia.com - PT The Master Steel diduga memberikan uang kepada dua pegawai Direktorat Jenderal Pajak Mohamad Dian Irwan Nuqishira dengan dan Eko Darmayanto secara bertahap. Sebelum tertangkap tangan pada Rabu (15/5/2013), Dian dan Eko diduga telah menerima uang dengan nilai yang sama, yakni 300.000 dollar Singapura pada 7 Mei 2013.
Adapun, Dian dan Eko tertangkap tangan sesaat seusai diduga menerima uang 300.000 dollar Singapura atau sekitar Rp 2,3 miliar dari karyawan PT The Master Steel bernama Effendi melalui Teddy yang diduga sebagai kurir.
"KPK juga memeroleh informasi bahwa ED (Eko Darmayanto) dan MDI (Mohamad Dian Irwan) juga menerima 300 ribu dollar Singapura sebelum proses yang tadi dari sumber yang tadi. Bisa dikatakan pemberian lebih dari sekali, yang dapat diinformasikan KPK dua kali, kita kan belum tau kalau ada lagi," kata Juru Bicara KPK Johan Budi, Rabu (15/5/2013) malam.
Johan juga belum dapat memastikan berapa total nilai komitmen fee yang dijanjikan PT The Master Steel kepada dua pegawai pajak itu. Kedua pegawai pajak itu masih diperiksa KPK bersamaan dengan Effendi dan Teddy. Menurut Johan, pemberian uang ini diduga bertujuan menyelesaikan persoalan pajak PT The Master Steel. Perusahaan baja itu diduga memiliki tunggakan pajak.
"PT The MS (Master Steel) ini punya persoalan pajak kemudian dikoordinasikan dengan ED (Eko) dan MDI (Mohamad Dian) biar tidak jadi persoalan. Jadi ada semacam tunggakan," ungkapnya.
Direktur Jenderal Pajak Fuad Rahmany mengakui bahwa PT The Master Steel memang bermasalah dalam pembayaran pajak. Ada semacam upaya untuk menghindar dari kewajiban membayar pajak.
"Penghindaran pajak lah intinya," kata Fuad.
Dia juga mengatakan, masalah pembayaran pajak The Master Steel ini sudah masuk tahap penyidikan di Direktorat Jenderal Pajak. Proses penyidikan masalah perusahaan ini, menurut Fuad, dilakukan tim penyidik yang beranggotakan Mohammad Dian, Eko, serta pemeriksa pajak lainnya.
"Si antara tim penyidik tersebut ada beberapa orang dan yang dua ini kongkalikong dengan wajib pajaknya," ungkap Fuad.
Dia juga mengaku tidak tahu apa yang dijanjikan The Master Steel kepada dua pegawai pajak itu sehingga terjadi kongkalingkong di antara kedua belah pihak. Seperi diberitakan sebelumnya, KPK menangkap Mohamad Dian dan Eko sesaat setelah diduga menerima uang dari Effendi melalui Teddy.
Dian dan Eko tertangkap di halaman parkir Bandara Soekarno-Hatta bersama dengan Teddy, sementara Effendi diringkus dalam perjalanan di Kelapa Gading, Jakarta. Johan menuturkan, modus serah terima uang yang dilakoni para pegawai pajak dan pihak swasta ini tergolong unik. Pada Selasa (14/5/2013) malam, menurut Johan, Mohamad Dian membawa Avanza hitam ke halaman terminal III Bandara Soekarno-Hatta. Dian kemudian memarkir mobil tersebut di halaman bandara, lalu menyerahkan kunci mobil itu kepada Teddy yang diduga sebagai kurir.
"Mereka kemudian pergi," tambah Johan.
KPK menduga, Teddy kemudian meletakkan uang 300.000 dollar AS di dalam mobil Avanza Hitam tersebut setelah Dian pergi. Pagi harinya, setelah uang dimasukkan ke dalam mobil, kata Johan, Dian dan Eko kembali ke parkiran bandara. "Di sana juga sudah ada T (Teddy) dan ada uangnya," tambah Johan.
Setelah uang dipastikan berpindah tangan, tim penyidik KPK langsung meringkus ketiga orang itu, kemudian menangkap Effendi.
Editor :Liwon Maulana(galipat)
Obama Finds a Bolder Voice on Race Issues
As he reflected on the festering wounds deepened by race and grievance that have been on painful display in America’s cities lately, President Obama on Monday found himself thinking about a young man he had just met named Malachi.
A few minutes before, in a closed-door round-table discussion at Lehman College in the Bronx, Mr. Obama had asked a group of black and Hispanic students from disadvantaged backgrounds what could be done to help them reach their goals. Several talked about counseling and guidance programs.
“Malachi, he just talked about — we should talk about love,” Mr. Obama told a crowd afterward, drifting away from his prepared remarks. “Because Malachi and I shared the fact that our dad wasn’t around and that sometimes we wondered why he wasn’t around and what had happened. But really, that’s what this comes down to is: Do we love these kids?”
Many presidents have governed during times of racial tension, but Mr. Obama is the first to see in the mirror a face that looks like those on the other side of history’s ledger. While his first term was consumed with the economy, war and health care, his second keeps coming back to the societal divide that was not bridged by his election. A president who eschewed focusing on race now seems to have found his voice again as he thinks about how to use his remaining time in office and beyond.
In the aftermath of racially charged unrest in places like Baltimore, Ferguson, Mo., and New York, Mr. Obama came to the Bronx on Monday for the announcement of a new nonprofit organization that is being spun off from his White House initiative called My Brother’s Keeper. Staked by more than $80 million in commitments from corporations and other donors, the new group, My Brother’s Keeper Alliance, will in effect provide the nucleus for Mr. Obama’s post-presidency, which will begin in January 2017.
“This will remain a mission for me and for Michelle not just for the rest of my presidency but for the rest of my life,” Mr. Obama said. “And the reason is simple,” he added. Referring to some of the youths he had just met, he said: “We see ourselves in these young men. I grew up without a dad. I grew up lost sometimes and adrift, not having a sense of a clear path. The only difference between me and a lot of other young men in this neighborhood and all across the country is that I grew up in an environment that was a little more forgiving.”
Organizers said the new alliance already had financial pledges from companies like American Express, Deloitte, Discovery Communications and News Corporation. The money will be used to help companies address obstacles facing young black and Hispanic men, provide grants to programs for disadvantaged youths, and help communities aid their populations.
Joe Echevarria, a former chief executive of Deloitte, the accounting and consulting firm, will lead the alliance, and among those on its leadership team or advisory group are executives at PepsiCo, News Corporation, Sprint, BET and Prudential Group Insurance; former Secretary of State Colin L. Powell; Senator Cory Booker, Democrat of New Jersey; former Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr.; the music star John Legend; the retired athletes Alonzo Mourning, Jerome Bettis and Shaquille O’Neal; and the mayors of Indianapolis, Sacramento and Philadelphia.
The alliance, while nominally independent of the White House, may face some of the same questions confronting former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton as she begins another presidential campaign. Some of those donating to the alliance may have interests in government action, and skeptics may wonder whether they are trying to curry favor with the president by contributing.
“The Obama administration will have no role in deciding how donations are screened and what criteria they’ll set at the alliance for donor policies, because it’s an entirely separate entity,” Josh Earnest, the White House press secretary, told reporters on Air Force One en route to New York. But he added, “I’m confident that the members of the board are well aware of the president’s commitment to transparency.”
The alliance was in the works before the disturbances last week after the death of Freddie Gray, the black man who suffered fatal injuries while in police custody in Baltimore, but it reflected the evolution of Mr. Obama’s presidency. For him, in a way, it is coming back to issues that animated him as a young community organizer and politician. It was his own struggle with race and identity, captured in his youthful memoir, “Dreams From My Father,” that stood him apart from other presidential aspirants.
But that was a side of him that he kept largely to himself through the first years of his presidency while he focused on other priorities like turning the economy around, expanding government-subsidized health care and avoiding electoral land mines en route to re-election.
After securing a second term, Mr. Obama appeared more emboldened. Just a month after his 2013 inauguration, he talked passionately about opportunity and race with a group of teenage boys in Chicago, a moment aides point to as perhaps the first time he had spoken about these issues in such a personal, powerful way as president. A few months later, he publicly lamented the death of Trayvon Martin, a black Florida teenager, saying that “could have been me 35 years ago.”
That case, along with public ruptures of anger over police shootings in Ferguson and elsewhere, have pushed the issue of race and law enforcement onto the public agenda. Aides said they imagined that with his presidency in its final stages, Mr. Obama might be thinking more about what comes next and causes he can advance as a private citizen.
That is not to say that his public discussion of these issues has been universally welcomed. Some conservatives said he had made matters worse by seeming in their view to blame police officers in some of the disputed cases.
“President Obama, when he was elected, could have been a unifying leader,” Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, a Republican candidate for president, said at a forum last week. “He has made decisions that I think have inflamed racial tensions.”
On the other side of the ideological spectrum, some liberal African-American activists have complained that Mr. Obama has not done enough to help downtrodden communities. While he is speaking out more, these critics argue, he has hardly used the power of the presidency to make the sort of radical change they say is necessary.
The line Mr. Obama has tried to straddle has been a serrated one. He condemns police brutality as he defends most officers as honorable. He condemns “criminals and thugs” who looted in Baltimore while expressing empathy with those trapped in a cycle of poverty and hopelessness.
In the Bronx on Monday, Mr. Obama bemoaned the death of Brian Moore, a plainclothes New York police officer who had died earlier in the day after being shot in the head Saturday on a Queens street. Most police officers are “good and honest and fair and care deeply about their communities,” even as they put their lives on the line, Mr. Obama said.
“Which is why in addressing the issues in Baltimore or Ferguson or New York, the point I made was that if we’re just looking at policing, we’re looking at it too narrowly,” he added. “If we ask the police to simply contain and control problems that we ourselves have been unwilling to invest and solve, that’s not fair to the communities, it’s not fair to the police.”
Moreover, if society writes off some people, he said, “that’s not the kind of country I want to live in; that’s not what America is about.”
His message to young men like Malachi Hernandez, who attends Boston Latin Academy in Massachusetts, is not to give up.
“I want you to know you matter,” he said. “You matter to us.”
Ghostly Voices From Thomas Edison’s Dolls Can Now Be Heard
Though Robin and Joan Rolfs owned two rare talking dolls manufactured by Thomas Edison’s phonograph company in 1890, they did not dare play the wax cylinder records tucked inside each one.
The Rolfses, longtime collectors of Edison phonographs, knew that if they turned the cranks on the dolls’ backs, the steel phonograph needle might damage or destroy the grooves of the hollow, ring-shaped cylinder. And so for years, the dolls sat side by side inside a display cabinet, bearers of a message from the dawn of sound recording that nobody could hear.
In 1890, Edison’s dolls were a flop; production lasted only six weeks. Children found them difficult to operate and more scary than cuddly. The recordings inside, which featured snippets of nursery rhymes, wore out quickly.
Yet sound historians say the cylinders were the first entertainment records ever made, and the young girls hired to recite the rhymes were the world’s first recording artists.
Year after year, the Rolfses asked experts if there might be a safe way to play the recordings. Then a government laboratory developed a method to play fragile records without touching them.
The technique relies on a microscope to create images of the grooves in exquisite detail. A computer approximates — with great accuracy — the sounds that would have been created by a needle moving through those grooves.
In 2014, the technology was made available for the first time outside the laboratory.
“The fear all along is that we don’t want to damage these records. We don’t want to put a stylus on them,” said Jerry Fabris, the curator of the Thomas Edison Historical Park in West Orange, N.J. “Now we have the technology to play them safely.”
Last month, the Historical Park posted online three never-before-heard Edison doll recordings, including the two from the Rolfses’ collection. “There are probably more out there, and we’re hoping people will now get them digitized,” Mr. Fabris said.
The technology, which is known as Irene (Image, Reconstruct, Erase Noise, Etc.), was developed by the particle physicist Carl Haber and the engineer Earl Cornell at Lawrence Berkeley. Irene extracts sound from cylinder and disk records. It can also reconstruct audio from recordings so badly damaged they were deemed unplayable.
“We are now hearing sounds from history that I did not expect to hear in my lifetime,” Mr. Fabris said.
The Rolfses said they were not sure what to expect in August when they carefully packed their two Edison doll cylinders, still attached to their motors, and drove from their home in Hortonville, Wis., to the National Document Conservation Center in Andover, Mass. The center had recently acquired Irene technology.
Cylinders carry sound in a spiral groove cut by a phonograph recording needle that vibrates up and down, creating a surface made of tiny hills and valleys. In the Irene set-up, a microscope perched above the shaft takes thousands of high-resolution images of small sections of the grooves.
Stitched together, the images provide a topographic map of the cylinder’s surface, charting changes in depth as small as one five-hundredth the thickness of a human hair. Pitch, volume and timbre are all encoded in the hills and valleys and the speed at which the record is played.
At the conservation center, the preservation specialist Mason Vander Lugt attached one of the cylinders to the end of a rotating shaft. Huddled around a computer screen, the Rolfses first saw the wiggly waveform generated by Irene. Then came the digital audio. The words were at first indistinct, but as Mr. Lugt filtered out more of the noise, the rhyme became clearer.
Recently, the conservation center turned up another surprise.
In 2010, the Woody Guthrie Foundation received 18 oversize phonograph disks from an anonymous donor. No one knew if any of the dirt-stained recordings featured Guthrie, but Tiffany Colannino, then the foundation’s archivist, had stored them unplayed until she heard about Irene.
Last fall, the center extracted audio from one of the records, labeled “Jam Session 9” and emailed the digital file to Ms. Colannino.
“I was just sitting in my dining room, and the next thing I know, I’m hearing Woody,” she said. In between solo performances of “Ladies Auxiliary,” “Jesus Christ,” and “Dead or Alive,” Guthrie tells jokes, offers some back story, and makes the audience laugh. “It is quintessential Guthrie,” Ms. Colannino said.
The Rolfses’ dolls are back in the display cabinet in Wisconsin. But with audio stored on several computers, they now have a permanent voice.